Moving Beyond Surviving

We’re about a month into various stages of social distancing, sheltering at home, working from home and learning from home. Where are you at? Where are your kids at?  

Regardless of where we’re at, which may change day by day or even moment to moment, we’re in this for the long-haul. Dr. April Seifert aptly likened the Coronavirus pandemic to “an endurance event none of us signed up for”.  We have to survive, but can we also thrive?

Show grace and compassion.

No one has it all figured out. We do the best we can for where we’re at. Give yourself permission to take time figure how to make this work and to make mistakes along the way. Maybe they are not even mistakes. Consider it doing your best given current circumstances and information. Be ready for ongoing adaptation.

We can’t do it all.  When was the last time we had to figure out how to teach, work, and parent at the same time? We’ll need to prioritize, let go, and lower some expectations. Know that even on difficult days, you (and your children) are doing your best.

Avoid comparison and competition.  What is working for you and your family might not work for others and vice versa. We’re all working to do the best we can. Appreciate each other and show kindness. 

Connect to communicate.

Reflect to connect. Encourage communication by paraphrasing back what you hear. Let them know you are listening, not fixing or dismissing.

Get curious.  Understand to collaborate. Avoid starting conversations with accusations or assumptions. Make a statement of concern or observation and ask them in a neutral way for more information. (e.g., What’s going on with that? Was there something that got in the way? I’m confused, I thought you were going to finish that. How’d that work out?)

Have fun. Children need to enjoy spending time with family. Find the time to relax and have fun with family. With online learning and juggling responsibilities, it’s easy to get caught up in the to-do list.

Act in ways that support what we value and who we are.

Pause and reflect on what’s important. Identify your values. These create a compass to prioritize. What we do and how we choose to respond either moves us toward creating a meaningful life and connections or moves us away from what we value.

Focus and build on strengths. Strengths also help us navigate challenges.  Wear your strengths wristbands is a great activity for younger children and teens and adults can take the VIA Character Strengths Survey.

Check in daily. The Greater Good Magazine presented six questions as a way to increase awareness day to day:

These questions keep the focus on TODAY.

They are also value-driven:

health, gratitude, connection, flexibility, and compassion.

Navigating through the pandemic will test perseverance but also highlight our strengths and clarify values. Life is offering us opportunities to develop flexibility, adapt to change, and build resilience. We want to be active participants in moving forward rather than waiting for the pandemic to end and things getting “back to normal.”  We have to survive. I believe that we can thrive.